Top 7 Ways to Golf Like a Total Toolbag

1.
Dress like a toolbag


2.
Take a cart
Mixing in a salad and walking 18 holes could really help you out, fatty.


3.
Stand behind a player while he’s putting
If you got a little closer you’d have an even better look at the line.


4.
Eat sunflower seeds
Leave these for the next time you’re in a dugout.


5.
Be loud
You made a 12-footer for par. That’s terrific. Now act like you’ve done it before.


6.
Use a rangefinder
“It’s 144 to carry the water, 152 to the hole, 163 to rear bunker.” Dude, if you were that good you’d be on a tour.


7.
Use a cellphone
You think that call from your wife can wait a few hours?